true feelings

true feelings
well my true feelings
are that I
care for you more deeply
Than you could ever know
but what’s the point in saying
when you’re already gone
what’s the point in telling you
something you never wanted to hear
I lost you
for some reason, I don’t know
communication is not your strongest suit
I’ve lost you
and I want you back
in the most deep and meaningful ways
in the most dark and possessive ways
in the most innocent and undeniable ways
I want you
It’s killing me
It’s killing me
I’m dying
To get you back in any way
In some way
In one way
In the smallest and the most consuming ways
But I don’t know what happened
As I sit here with the dust settling
After the unexpected explosion
After the expected let down
And weep
Please come back
Please come home so I can bother you
Some more
Please hold me
Please invite me over
Please tell me a deep secret
I’ve still never told anyone else
I only keep secrets for you
I’ve only held onto this for so long
I don’t know how much longer I can hold this
I don’t know how much longer you want me to
I don’t know who you are anymore
But I feel that I need you
I want you to open your mouth
And let out the insects
The animals
The people
Pulling us apart
I need closure
I need
This to be closed
Or to be opened again
Don’t leave me with this fly on my lips
With this moth in my heart
Don’t leave me
Don’t leave me anymore