demise

my heart flutters between
my stomach and my head
even just a thought
about your hair
your straight nose
the lashes on your eyelids
can send it pounding
into a whole other dimension
a dimension called panic
and my organs rise
to meet that desire
stirring deep within me,
i begin to contemplate soul mates
and second chances
and the worst wrongs done in the universe
because it feels like i murdered you
but it also feels like you murdered
our love
long before time began
and maybe that's why soul mates exist
to come unbury you,
from your dirt-hole
and i don't think
you are him
yet i think i would still
reach for your hands,
in the midst of my demise