I'm scared.

I'm scared of all the smoke and mirrors,
I'm afraid it won't be long.
But now I know how sublime a thing it is,
to suffer and be strong.

My head is spinning
am I the only one that thinks this way?
I feel so messed-up, so lost,
will I ever escape my own today?

Same old words,
nothing shocking, nothing new.
But I can't tell what it is,
No, can't explain it to you.

I'm so confused because my mind is gone,
It's stuck on yesterday.
Why can't I have a new dawn,
is that too high a price to pay?

Instead I'm a shattered soul,
always missing everything besides.
It is the day that lies ahead,
the day that will soon subside.

I look at grinning old photos
I listen to all the childhood songs,
but oh why can't I just be happy,
when the old memories come tagging along?

I cringe at any old happiness
not done in my own life.
But even if all of that were so,
such previous fun would cause me strife.

And I don't know why I'm so screwed up
can't say how that could be.
But all I know deep down inside?
I've never felt so empty.

I'm scared of all the smoke and mirrors,
I'm afraid it won't be long.
But now I know how sublime a thing it is,
to suffer and be strong.